To finally get closer to an end is to finally let go of the beginning. This was what I anticipated and have determined myself to finally be arriving at before touching and embracing the whole hope, excitement, adventure and love that 2017 brings. The year 2016 was like a root of a tree that has been intricately holding on a trellis and it requires time to separate them. It’s a life I know that’s real hard to assimilate and accept why I keep holding on. The best part was, I learned a lesson that despite of the pain that I know, there’s a bundle of happiness between the confusion of holding on and letting go. There were days that I blame myself for being weak, but I still praise myself for being brave to hoist myself by using the small strength that lies beneath the truth of my deep hope.
I hold words as my strength and that was my way out to separate from the situation, for I have collapsed in the throes of an agony in the past that I know I don’t even deserve. Hence a world I have known in the beginning was a strange world that I had known in the end. Yes, I fought the battle myself trying to hope that I win, but I have had just fooled myself and its killing me softly within. I brought up another war expecting to win the battle of chance, but I got nothing left, but the only hope of maybe and what If’s. I began tracking back since I might have lacked the strength I needed for the battle, but I couldn’t figure out or maybe it wasn’t a battle I intended to win cause it wasn’t a battle I expected it to be in.
The coming days have been so loud and the situation is eagerly crossing the complicated streets of the unknown and I have no choice, but trying to comprehend the beginning of moving on. I started hating everything for no reason, I started doubting the hello’s and Hi’s cause it might be a trapped I should be evading for. I went swimming in the wide and a deep ocean of a pretending world, I met a likeness of my being, I’ve learned their stories, and so I know that I’m not alone fighting a battle I should have long been giving up. I’ve spoken to some of them, I learned that in every brokenness you received and owned, doesn’t always mean the end of the story you always wanted to write.
I travelled far and hope for a true healing of the past. I started traveling to wherever my itchy feet are going to bring me. I met different kind of people with the same passion as mine, some really had the sweetest beginning and the happiest ending they both have expected to be arriving at, some are still traveling to obtain their true love and some are just traveling to enjoy a beautiful world that we all have. I have climbed mountains, I crossed to a different Islands, I’ve seen a great deal of stunning waterfalls, I’ve tasted luscious food, I’ve been flying with different Airlines, I’ve seen and met inspiring people, I went to a concrete jungle and I’m literary seeing myself happy with a life I’m currently having.
I guessed I was fine and happy with a life I know I have enjoyed. There has been times I remember the glimpse of the memories I should have been buried under the ground. I’m still struggling a lot, but I know I’m strong enough to come out of it. I remember I talked and confronted myself for behaving like a weak man that I shouldn’t be. I demanded the chance to make peace with myself by simply writing my unending emotion that I should express. So I started writing, documenting my travels and the lessons I learned while traveling. I began seeing myself productive and I’m busy gaining back the trust in myself. I went knowing that behind my words, I have inspired people.
Just before the year 2016 was about to close, I made a step to reach out to the person who made my life meaningful and productive. Who made me realize that I deserve all the achievements I have now. Who have taught me a lesson that I’ll be forever thankful for. What if you didn’t leave? Will I still become the person I am today? I guess I won’t be the same person I am now, which is strong, productive and happy. It’s a blessing that you left me with pain, but you’ve brought strength, determination and a reason to unlock my passion and my love for traveling and writing. I know that you’ve been happy with whatever life you choose to be right now and so I am. It is in true forgiveness and acceptance that we always find a true peace and happiness.
How about you guys out there? Have you ever made peace and forgiveness for whatever have made your heart broken and in pain in 2016?